How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
