Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
