We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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