I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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