what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
