Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize