Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
