I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize