Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there