If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
23 People Reveal The Worst Culture Shock They’ve Ever Experienced While Traveling
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism