I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize