I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This beer is not sobering me up at all
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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