Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
