I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
