So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize