There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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