i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just gargled with NyQuil
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Randomize
