im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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