Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
