I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
