he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
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