you win again, gameday.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
She bit a glass in half.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
