I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
