Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
