that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize