Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
