You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
