Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
