please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
