Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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