hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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