mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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