mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
There r osticjed everywhere
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
pray to the hookup gods
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
