I cannot find my penis.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
