So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
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