I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Im part way to drunk.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
