she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
