You're completely useless in the revolution.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
