right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
