eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
