Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
