If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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