I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
