I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
