i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
