these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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