since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
