I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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