mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize