You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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