he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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