it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
