So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
a search helicopter?!
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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