well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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