fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
