I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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