i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
