Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
