woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize