i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
