so that wasnt chicken after all
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
